feeownah.

Life Lessons #01 – Driving Edition

Winter is coming, but in the meantime Autumn has truly kicked in and it’s raining. Incessantly. And it’s dark and cold out. We didn’t have much of a summer but it was definitely better than the 50 shades of grey start to Autumn - wet and varying shades of doom. Clouds are apocalypse grey and the greys that are really just there to highlight that the apocalypse grey really is the end of the world.

As a learner driver, I’m not the most comfortable driving in extreme rain. I had only done it once and I very nearly pulled over to wait for the rain to pass, but since I live in Ireland, the sun was out a minute later so there was no need. I’ve also only been driving daily since June – the change in job and living means I now drive to work (yes on my own, but shush, at least I’m usually sober when doing so!). So I’ve slowly but surely been things about my car since I’m in it every day instead of once a week.

For example, my blonde hairs really show up on the floor between the passenger and driver seat. I can use the air conditioning to blow dry my hair during my drive to work in the mornings. Apparently the back windows do in fact open (it’s a Ford Ka, I thought they were just there to let light in!). Fifth gear does actually work and I can use it. Going into reverse doesn’t always work so I have to pull on the gear stick a bit harder. Other drivers are dicks. Sunglasses are useful for the five minutes of sunshine we get a day. Cyclists are in the way and always at risk of being run over by yours truly. Tyres need to have air put into them sometimes. The petrol hole is on the opposite side of the car to the driver’s seat. My boot is really small. I still need to replace my windscreen wipers.

This morning I have another item to add to my every growing list of things I didn’t know about driving/cars. For once I’m in the car on time, ready to get my ass to work, I’ve wired my phone up to the cassette player (it’s vintage, right?), tunes are ready to go – rear view mirrors are good, seat is in position and I’m ready to start my drive to work, despite the miserable weather. I indicate, check to make sure no one is coming in either direction, pull out and get going.

Five minutes later, at a set of traffic lights, I’m leaning over the steering wheel wiping furiously at my windscreen. I have the window rolled down slightly, trying to help my cause, but it’s not helping. My windscreen keeps fogging up. I remember what my boyfriend had told me the week before about the air blowing onto the window. I find the dial and turn it to the little icon he’d shown me. This will fix it, I’m a genius for remembering this!

Traffic light turns green and I’m off. Any minute now my windscreen will be defogged and the rest of the drive to work will be grand.

Five minutes later no such luck and I’m wiping furiously at the windscreen again trying to clear off the mist while the wipers screech across the glass trying to clear it of rain. Something just isn’t right here. Is there even any air blowing on the window? I lean over and put my hand over where the air is meant to be coming through and it’s a feeble amount of air, how is this meant to clear a windscreen? Then I remember the other half of the boyfriend’s instructions - turn up the air conditioning so that it’s actually, you know, doing something. Face palm. I turn to the dial next to the first one so that air actually starts to circulate. Minutes later the windscreen is clear, I can actually see the line markings on the road, success!

And that is the not-so-entertaining life lesson, driving edition, of how I learned to defog my windscreen on a beautiful wet Irish September morning.